still struggling

This is my aunt Velenda,she passed away in April. For some reason i don't think it really occurred to me that she's actually gone. I feel like she's at home just one call away. This was the only adult i could see myself expressing my feelings and telling my secrets to. Now that she's gone, i feel like i have to keep my feelings bottled up.People say i look like her so for a while i didn't want to be around anybody because it seemed like i just made them even more sad. I still feel like staying in bed some days and cry but, i get up and put on a smile and go to school because i remember back in the day how she used to brag about how she always got good grades and always wanted us to do our best and beat us up for getting C's D's and especially E's. So even if i don't feel like going to school i go because i know that's what she would have wanted and i wont let her down!