My true reason for why I act the way I do

I'm a Gemini!(may 22). They say we have split personalities or whatever. I believe it's absolutely true, some days I could be a girl (wearing heals, skirts, dresses etc.) other days I could act like a boy (or so I've heard) It's crazy. I could be wild, loud and unpredictable one second and shy quiet the next.I don't know why but i love it! It's like I'm cool with everybody because i can chill with boys and act like a dude and like 2 minutes later i can be with the girl acting like a complete girl. I cant get any better!!!

One thing you'll probably never see

I'm not the type of person who can just cry in front of people.I always try to keep a smile on my face and look at the brighter side of things.Don't get me wrong,I cry,I just do in when i know I'm going to be alone and no one can hear nor see me.There are some days when i just break down and cry but the house is completely FULL and on those days i turn to my handy dandy journal where i can say things to it that a best friend will never in their life get to know.I'm not sure if bottling up my emotions is a good thing, but so far it hasn't hurt me, so there's no reason for me to stop now and start crying in public 

the best playlist you'll ever hear!

my journey

My journey started off great! I had little to no traffic, a full tank, and A.C. for the most part i had absolutely no problems then, about two years ago, my car started acting funny and just change everything. I hit alot of potholes, my tires went flat, and my A.C broke. I thought that was the end and there was no point of even trying to push that bucket.But then one day i saw an inspiring light and i decided i will walk the rest of the way.I didn't know that this road would be this long, lonely, and tiring. My light seemed dim after a while but i refused to give up again, i will not just lay on the ground while other cars are passing by and running me over.Now I'm standing at the cross roads looking down each of them and trying really hard to pick one.The road on the right is fresh, clean, and recently paved, i cant just go by looks though because i know that road is long and torturous, but i know at the the end of the road is guaranteed success and the life i always wanted.I just don't know how to get to the end of that road.The road on the left however, has not been touched in years but is very short and a little dark. There's a possibility that its success or even a bucket of gold at the end, but there's no guarantee's. I don't want to risk not having the perfect life just because my shoes are busted and my feet are tired, so i guess I'll just have to find a nice shoe repair shop and soak my feet and get to walking.

omg!!

OMG!!!!! really? i seriously cant believe i have to call this thing a pic of my mother... people said i have nappy hair, DO U SEE HER HEAD?!?!? she really thought she was cute in this pic.she know her hair was a hot mess but she don't care. so now when i leave the house looking a hot mess I'll just say I'm trying to be like my mama. I still love her though

marneka

I LOVE LOVE LOVE this Lil fool rite here i swear i don't know what i would of done without my cousin! i can honestly say this is and probably always will be the only person i can trust and tell almost everything to. Its like she's my sister, its nothing i wouldn't do for her. i see all the things she did at my age and i wanna be just like her! And her mother does hair so you know I'll be over there every month (cause she does it free!!) but don't look at my head now i ain't been over there in like forever! but anyways, i love my big cousin marneka and nothing will ever change that.

still struggling

This is my aunt Velenda,she passed away in April. For some reason i don't think it really occurred to me that she's actually gone. I feel like she's at home just one call away. This was the only adult i could see myself expressing my feelings and telling my secrets to. Now that she's gone, i feel like i have to keep my feelings bottled up.People say i look like her so for a while i didn't want to be around anybody because it seemed like i just made them even more sad. I still feel like staying in bed some days and cry but, i get up and put on a smile and go to school because i remember back in the day how she used to brag about how she always got good grades and always wanted us to do our best and beat us up for getting C's D's and especially E's. So even if i don't feel like going to school i go because i know that's what she would have wanted and i wont let her down!

cant ban the ZOHAN.!

This is my brother.Most people around the way knows him so most the people only know me as his bowlegged little sister or whatever.He's a little childish at times but at other times he tries to be an adult. But no matter what that's my only brother and he's so great and i love him! I have the coolest brother in the world! yadda yadda yadda